Dealing with Chemo
by KoffeeKat
Summary: Jon's wife Cassie has cancer. How will they deal with this? How will Jon handle it if she doesn't survive?
1. Chapter 1

Jon walked into the hospitals Oncology dept. He saw Cassie laying in the recliner sleeping, he also noticed they had put the IV in her hand instead of her arm, which meant they had trouble finding a vein. It was a constant struggle getting Cassie to drink enough liquids the day before her Chemo treatment. Let's be honest Jon shook his head internally, it was difficult to get Cassie to eat or drink anything.

He crouched down next to her and swiped the bangs away from her eyes. She looked up and smiled "You're off work."

"Yup and I'm ready to take you home."

The nurse was walking past and looked at Cassie's IV bag "Another 5 minutes."

Jon grabbed a chair and sat next to his wife stroking her hand.

Cassie was counting her blessings as she looked at her husband with love and adoration. He leaned forward and whispered into her ear "You're giving me that look again." Then kissed her on the lips

She giggled "You mean the look that makes you kiss me?"

"Exactly!" He grinned at her.

10 minutes later Jon was pushing the wheelchair down the hallway towards his truck. He lifted Cassie from the chair into the truck, the chemo sessions made her very weak. She slept in the truck on the way home and Jon helped her again into the wheelchair he had waiting in his truck (they had rented one for the duration of her treatments).

Back in their apartment as Jon was helping her into bed, he was watching the clock, he knew they had about 6 hours before the side effects would begin. The nausea was getting worse with every session and Jon's heart ached watching her suffer. Cassie rolled onto her side already falling into a deep sleep, she was conserving every bit of energy she had to fight this thing.

Jon woke with a start in the wee hours of the morning to the sound of retching coming from the bathroom. He quickly rushed over to Cassie's side and held her hair back from the sides of her face, they had recently cut it shorter for convenience sake but it was still shoulder length and the ends fell close to her mouth. There were times when Cassie could hardly take a full breath before she was vomiting again. This went on for a good half hour before Jon started pushing for her to take her anti nauseant. She didn't like to take it because it made her so incredibly hot but it was the only thing that worked to get her past this stage. Cassie was kneeling on the floor hugging the porcelain bowl and Jon was kneeling behind her. She started to cry and lean her back into her husband's chest "Please, make it stop." He could feel her shaking.

He wrapped his arms around her loosely knowing she may need to pull out at any moment to vomit again. "Please honey, let me get a dose ready for you."

She suddenly hurled forward heaving into the bowl which only made her stomach muscles hurt more as there was nothing in her stomach to purge. When she had a moment to breathe she nodded her head and said "Ok."

Jon of course had already started to fill the syringe with the recommended dose, he was having thoughts of giving her the shot whether she approved or not. Jabbing her in the backside she let out a curse with an Ow and Jon always apologized after. He immediately reached in front of her above her head and turned on the fan they had there, just as Cassie started to moan and sweat. All she could do was look into the fan blowing air into her face and try to stabilize her breathing. Jon grabbed the hand fan waiting on the bathroom counter and began to fan her from behind. Cassie moaned her appreciation.

It didn't take long before Cassie was exhausted and sleepy. Jon helped her back into bed (while discretely pushing aside the hairs that had fallen off and were in small bundles on her pillow) again taking note of the time knowing they would be going through this every few hours for the next 24 hours.

In the morning at the station the gang at Central were gathering getting ready for the morning meeting. Others had been asking Ponch how his partner was doing. The topic of sick days came up and Bear mentioned that Jon must be almost out of sick days based on how long Cassie had been sick and in treatment. Ponch didn't think it was his place to say but did admit that Jon had run out of sick days awhile ago and was using his vacation days at the moment. In reality Jon had run out of vacation days and was currently using some of the vacation days Ponch had donated to him. He appreciated the HR staff to allow this.

Bonnie had been sitting quietly thinking and suddenly piped up "What if he runs out of vacation days? He can't leave her and just come back to work, she needs him." Bonnie thought for a moment "I wonder if I can donate some vacation days." Some of the other guys nodded and voiced their approval and started talking about doing the same.

At this time the Sarge walked in and put his book on the podium, "Ok quiet down people, let's get to work."

Bear brought it up first, "Sarge, how can we donate our vacation days to Jon?"

Sarge looked at Ponch, he was the only one who was aware of what Ponch had done, "Did you put them up to this?"

Ponch raised both hands in innocence, "I swear boss, I never said a word."

Bonnie chimed in, "You mean you've already done that?" she looked back at the Sarge "So it is possible, please tell us how we can help."

The Sarge knew this was for a good cause so he didn't fight it, "Ok ok, let me talk to HR and see what I can do. Now can we get some work done?"


	2. Chapter 2

It was two o'clock in the afternoon and Jon and Cassie were back on the bathroom floor again. Jon heard the knock on the door and had learned a few months ago with the caring neighbours they had there was no keeping them out when they thought someone needed help in here, "It's open." He shouted. Cassie was oblivious as she was retching into the bowl again.

Now Sarge had never been here after a chemo treatment so he wasn't prepared for what he saw. Jon looked over to see who had come in and was surprised, "Have a seat in the living room I'll be with you in a bit."

Jon started to push the shot sooner and was surprised yet again that she didn't fight harder, she must really be getting tired. After the typical shot, ow, sorry, hot flash, fan action then back into bed. Jon tucked Cassie in and kissed her forehead before she rolled over and was fast asleep. Jon quickly changed out of his pj's and into jeans and a t shirt, this was his boss after all, even if they were close friends.

Jon walked into the living room, "Hey Sarge, how can I help you? You want a cup of coffee?"

"It's ok Jon I can't stay long."

"You're ok if I grab one?" Jon walked into the kitchen and the Sarge followed to the counter dividing the kitchen with the living room.

"Jon, I'm sorry I had no idea. Is it always this bad?"

Jon looked lovingly towards the bedroom door and his resting wife, "Yeah, pretty much, every few hours for about 24 hours."

"You're kidding!" Sargent Getraer was even more shocked "Every few hours?"

"She's strong, she can beat this thing, I have every faith."

"With you at her side she has an even better chance." This worried Jon as he knew he was out of sick and vacation days and was using one of Ponch's last vacation days. He wouldn't leave his wife to handle this alone so he was already considering talking to the Sarge about taking days without pay. They would have to dip into their savings to stay afloat but it's doable.

"Listen Jon, that's what I came here to talk to you about. Somebody got wind of Ponch donating some of his vacation days to you and a few of the others are asking to do the same." Sarge took a breath to let this sink in for a moment. "Listen bottom line is, Cassie has 3 treatments left and you have enough vacation days to take 3 days off for each session, including taking tomorrow off as well."

Jon stood stunned, he must be sleep deprived, "I must be dreaming, you didn't just say I have more vacation days did you?"

The Sarge smiled, "Ten, in fact."

Jon almost tripped over his feet as he walked to the stool next to the Sarge and carefully sat down. "Ten?"

The Sarges' smile widened, "Yup."

Jon couldn't hold back his emotions, tears started streaming down his face. Sargent Getraer clapped him on the shoulder then brought Jon in for a hug and clapped him on the back.

Jon hugged him back and thanked him profusely over and over again.

Cassie woke the next morning feeling exhausted and drained. She turned her head surprised to see Jon sleeping at this hour.

She slowly got out of bed and on shaky legs made her way to the kitchen table. Jon usually had a cup of tea waiting for her before he left for work. Sure enough, there it was. Cassie sat down and carefully picked up the luke warm cup (just the way she liked it). She was careful to steady her hands so as not to spill the tea and took a sip. The first sip was always the hardest on her turmoiled stomach.

She was half way through her cup when Jon suddenly ran out of the bedroom and into the bathroom then turned around confused when he didn't see her there. "Over here honey" Cassie had to smile

Jon walked over looking relieved and crouched in front of her placing his hand on her knee. "How are you feeling?"

Cassie really loved her husband from the bottom of her heart, she placed her palm on his cheek. "I'm doing ok but I'm a little confused, why aren't you at work?"

Jon could feel her hand tremble (her energy must be so zapped that even a simple gesture of holding her hand up made her tremble) he placed his hand over hers. "Well I happen to be on vacation."

"What are you talking about? Didn't you use Ponch's last vacation day yesterday?"  
"Some of our other friends at Central donated their vacation days to us."

"More vacation days?" Cassie began to tremble more and Jon could see she was about to cry "How many?" Cassie had to choke the words out.

"Including today, 10." Jon couldn't hide his grin and her tears started to roll down her cheeks.

Jon pulled her into a tight hug "I had the exact same reaction when Getraer told me."

"I will find an appropriate way to thank them, I promise."

Jon looked at her, "You beating this breast cancer is the only thanks they are looking for."

"Now, why don't I make you some breakfast?" He got up and headed to the kitchen, then turned in surprise when Cassie said "No thanks."

"Honey, you need to eat."

"Honestly, it's taking everything I've got just to keep this down." She pointed to her cup.

"How about your shake that you like for breakfast?"

"How about I finish this then take a nap and then we can talk about it."

Jon knew she wouldn't give in but he still gave her his disappointed look. She chose to ignore it and looked at her tea that she really didn't want to finish. This day usually consisted of lots of naps and pretending to eat what he had made for her. Cassie realized now that she wouldn't be able to leave a half-finished sandwich on the plate while having hid the other half in pieces in the garbage. It took her quite some time to finish the last of the tea that usually would have been dumped down the sink. Cassie earned this nap, as she got up on shaking legs Jon was there in a flash to help her to bed and tuck her in, so there are benefits to him being here today she thought before she nodded off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Jon spent the next few hours quietly cleaning, he didn't usually have time for this and had been grateful to their neighbours for their help. Cassie was the professional cleaner in their relationship, Jon thought he was tidy when he was single but saw now where he missed quite a few areas. Cassie always made the place sparkle and had voiced often her disappointment in herself for not having the energy to do so.

Jon also made himself a large breakfast and was just wiping down the counter when Cassie came out of the bedroom, her legs were still shaky and she was slowly making her way to the living room when he came up to her side and turned her around and escorted her to the kitchen table. Cassie let out a deep sigh as she knew what was coming next. He pulled up the chair beside her and gave her 3 choices: chocolate shake, scrambled eggs and toast or sandwich.

"How about a cup of tea?" Jon was prepared for that and brought her a cup and watched her take a sip with shaky hands but wouldn't leave until she chose. "Seriously honey, I don't think I can stomach anything right now."

"You have to at least try, usually by now you'd be eating the sandwich I would have made for you."

Cassie looked down feeling guilty and dreading what she'd have to say next, "Well actually, I usually didn't eat more than a bite."

Jon shouldn't have been so surprised, "Why did it always look half eaten?"

"I hid the other half in the garbage." Cassie looked down again feeling like a child about to be scolded.

Jon could see how bad she felt and didn't get angry like he felt but instead leaned forward and hugged her long and hard. He didn't say anything else but leaned back and looked her in the eyes with a questioning look. She knew he was right and finally gave in "Ok fine, shake I guess."

Based on the new information Jon thought that was a good choice, she obviously was having difficulty keeping anything down besides liquids and at least the shake had the recommended vitamins and minerals. He insisted she drink some tea while he made her shake and sat and supervised her every sip. Jon knew she wouldn't finish the shake

About 1/3 the way through Cassie ran to the bathroom and lost it all. Jon didn't give up though, he pushed her to have more. Maybe not 1/3 but at least close to before he allowed her a reprieve and a nap on the couch.

He took this time to go out and get some groceries, he was going to have to re think dinner. He was going to make something with chicken but realized now that she would never eat it. He found a nice selection of soups, some cream based that would be hearty.

When Jon came home Cassie wasn't napping on the couch like he had left her. Maybe she went to bed, he had to pass the bedroom on the way to the bathroom anyway so he checked there first. He found her sitting on the edge of the bed, it looked like she had been crying. Jon kneeled on the floor in front of her "Honey, what's wrong?"

She didn't say anything but was looking at her hands and he noticed something was scrunched up in her palms. He slowly opened one palm and noticed a handful of hair. Jon was slow to react, whatever he said now was critical. "We can handle this together honey. Remember they said this could happen."

Cassie's breath stuttered as she took a shaky breath "Knowing it may happen and actually happening are 2 very different things."

Jon emptied her hands and disposed of the hair in the trash can nearby then sat on the bed next to her. He laid her head onto his shoulder and kissed the top of her head like he had done many times over the years then ignored the fact that many new hairs were now sticking to his mouth. "We talked about how we wanted to handle this if it happened, do you remember?"

"Yeah, I said I would want it all shaved off right away. Now I'm not so sure." She looked at her husband. She wasn't sure what she was looking for but all she saw was love and adoration in his eyes.

"You don't have to decide right now, we bought some nice headscarves for you to wear." Jon went to the dresser and pulled them out. He helped Cassie choose one then helped her tie it onto her head the way they had been shown in the hospital.

Cassie was tired so she took another nap. Jon didn't know what to do with himself, he started with unpacking the groceries he had just bought then sat on the couch quietly reading. It didn't take long for him to nod off as well. He figured this would be a good time to get caught up on sleep as well.

The rest of the afternoon and evening consisted of Jon trying to get Cassie to drink liquids and Cassie fighting him at every turn. She also couldn't stop touching her head. He could see the turmoil going on in her head and really wished he could take this pain away from her. He was successful in getting her to eat a decent amount of soup and felt quite proud of himself.

Cassie did however end up running to the bathroom when she was hit with a wave of nausea but was able to hold back and not lose her dinner. She didn't want to put herself through having to eat anything else and if she lost this she knew Jon would be pushing her to eat again. She knew he was just looking after her best interests but my god he was pushy sometimes.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Jon had to go to work and he had left her the cup of tea and had made a sandwich for her to eat for lunch. It wasn't until lunch time when Cassie was going to hide half of the sandwich in the garbage like she had done in the past when she noticed a fresh clean _empty_ garbage bag in the can. Damn, the jig was up, she was actually going to have to eat half of the sandwich this time.

The phone rang an hour later, it was Jon checking up on her. She had to scold him for making her eat lunch, Jon chuckled hearing her light tone. Cassie didn't tell him she had found another way of hiding what she hadn't eaten and she wouldn't share this secret place with him ever. She wished she really could eat at least half a sandwich but every bite that she ate hit her with a wave of nausea and she just couldn't stomach it.

The next few days consisted of the same routine. Lots of naps and when Jon was home from work a lot of pushing to at least try to eat or drink something. Jon was worried watching his wife lose so much weight.

Two days before her next chemo treatment, Jon was in the kitchen preparing lunch before he left for work, they were waiting for their doctor friend Nick to come over, he was going to hang out with Cassie for the day.

Cassie was carrying her cup of tea walking in the living room towards the couch when suddenly Jon heard a thump and a crash. He looked up to see Cassie's cup of tea on the carpet and Cassie sprawled on the floor.

"Cassie!" Jon shouted and ran towards her. She didn't move a muscle or moan or anything. He shouted her name again "Cassie open your eyes." He didn't care who heard him from the hallway.

The person who actually heard was their friend Nick, he started pounding on the door before trying the doorknob and was surprised to find it open. Nick wasn't sure what he was going to find. What he did see was Cassie laying on the living room floor and Jon hovering over her. Nick came running over with his doctor bag and while taking out his stethoscope he asked "What happened?"

"I don't know, she just collapsed."

Nick relayed information as he found it. Checking her pulse it was weak and thready, however her breaths were good.

He looked at her eyes "Pupils aren't dilated, that's a good thing Jon."

He looked up at Jon "I need you to call an ambulance right now."

Jon was a little stunned and Nick had to tell him again before he was able to move towards the phone.

Nick continued his assessment by taking her blood pressure while waiting for the paramedics to arrive. He also noted she had an irregular heartbeat. When they did arrive he introduced himself and gave them a rundown of his findings. This helped move things along faster to get her loaded into the ambulance and off to the hospital sooner. They tried to start an IV but were unable to get a vein.

Jon was really out of sorts, he kept pacing, every chance he got he would crouch down and taking Cassie's hand, touch her face or straighten her head scarf before he was asked to make room for the paramedics to do their job then he was pacing again.

Cassie didn't stir until they were loading her onto the stretcher and then it was just for a brief moment before she was out again.

When they got to the ER Nick was able to stay with Jon and Cassie and assist seeing as he had the most information. The doctor did his own assessment and took note of how thin Cassie was. "That's because she's going through chemo and is having difficulty keeping anything down." Jon shared

The doctor was most concerned with how dehydrated she was and his first task was to get her set up with not one but two IV's, one in each arm. However that proved to be a very difficult task as no one was able to get a good vein set up. Jon was worried but Nick was more worried as he understood how serious this was. Nick didn't know it had gotten this bad. The doctor made a call to the attending phlebotomist as he was the most skilled in setting up IV's.

When the doctor came down and took one look at Cassie he knew he was in for a challenge. He started with her left arm and after 20 min he was able to get an IV set up. The right arm turned out to be a bigger challenge and he had to settle for a smaller butterfly needle in the hand which meant the IV fluids would be going at a slower pace. There wasn't much else they could do for her at the moment, she needed fluids before they could do anything else. They set Cassie up with a heart monitor, pulse and blood pressure cuff and waited for two bags of IV to work their way into her system. Cassie was half way through her second bag in her left arm before the first bag in her right hand was empty. The nurse was changing that bag when Cassie started to stir. She quickly left to get the doctor.

Jon who had been sitting next to her got up and took hold of her hand "Cassie honey?"


	5. Chapter 5

She opened her eyes and looked at Jon with a confused look on her face "What happened?"

The doctor walked in at that time and did another assessment, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. "Cassie how are you feeling?"

"Tired." She said.

"Do you know what happened? Why you are here?" The doctor was taking her pulse and looking into her eyes.

"No." she didn't care she just wanted to close her eyes and go back to sleep.

The doctor could tell she was tired, he knew if he kept prodding she'd start getting very irritated. He brought his face closer so she had to look at him. "Cassie, you collapsed on your living room floor."

Her eyes widened a little but she didn't say anything.

The doctor continued "You are extremely dehydrated and you haven't been eating well, you're bordering on anorexia."

"I'm not, I eat just fine." Cassie was indignant.

He didn't argue with her. Instead he wrote some notes in her file and spoke briefly to the nurse, it sounded like they were setting her up with a room for a few days. Cassie closed her eyes and was fast asleep in no time.

Jon was a little stunned, he understood she was dehydrated but this was the first mention of anorexia. He looked at Nick and whispered "Is she anorexic?"

"You probably haven't noticed as you've been with her for the entire progression. Take a look at her face, see how pale she is? Look how sunken in her cheeks are" Nick reached over to uncover one of Cassie's legs, he didn't need to say anything because the quick intake of Jon's breath said it all. Her leg was very thin and boney. Her knee looked like a big ball with sticks attached.

Cassie spoke up without even opening her eyes, "Stop it, I'm cold enough."

"I'll get you a warm blanket." Nick was off

Jon walked over and while caressing Cassie's cheek with his thumb he said, "I promise honey we will get you better and get you home as soon as possible."

As they were waiting for a room they got a surprise visitor. Jon turned to see who was entering into their curtained area and his jaw almost dropped when he saw Sargent Getraer. Then it dawned on him that he never showed up for work. "Oh geez Sarge, I'm so sorry I totally forgot to call."

"Based on your circumstances, all is forgiven. How is Cassie?" He could tell she had lost a lot of weight since he saw her last, which admittedly was a couple of months ago. He didn't realize until now that she kept herself quite hidden from everyone. He wondered if Ponch even knew how things were going.

Jon explained what happened and what the doctor had said. "I just can't believe I didn't see the signs."

Nick came back with a warm blanket that he draped over Cassie then introduced himself to Joe Getraer. Jon explained how he was a friend who luckily happened to be a doctor that was stopping by just as Cassie collapsed.

Joe didn't stay long, he had found his missing employee and wished them luck and a speedy recovery, "Jon you take as much time as you need, we'll work out the details after." Jon shook his hand and thanked him profusely.

Ponch had been worried all morning not knowing where Jon was. He knew the Sarge had been making calls and was even visiting different hospitals searching for him. He had just finished writing someone a speeding ticket when the call came on the radio '7Mary4 please contact S5 at the office'.

Ponch quickly put his helmet on and it took all of his will power not to turn on sirens and lights to get to the nearest phone as quick as possible.

He got to a pay phone and dialed the number "This is 7Mary 4 may I speak to Sargent Getraer?"

It felt like it took forever before the Sarge got on the other line "Sargent Getraer here."

"Hey Sarge it's me Ponch, did you find Jon? Is he ok?"

"Ponch yes, I found him, he's at Rampart General"

"Oh my goodness! What happened? Is he ok?" Ponch's heart was beating a mile a minute.

"Calm down Frank, he's fine, Cassie on the other hand isn't."

Ponch's heart just sank "What are you saying Sarge? Is she…." He couldn't finish the sentence

"No Ponch not that bad. Let me ask you, when was the last time you saw Cassie?"

Ponch had to think about that "A few months ago I think, shortly after she started her chemo treatments. Jon kept saying she wasn't ready for visitors."

"Yeah me too." Sarge sighed

"What happened Sarge?" Ponch was worried. He knew Cassie was Jon's entire life.

"She collapsed at home and based on the way she looks, I'm thinking she hasn't been eating these last few months. I almost didn't recognize her Ponch."

"I had no idea Sarge, is it really that bad?"

"It looks like it Ponch, they'll be keeping her in the hospital for a few days for sure, when I was there she had 2 IV's going trying to rehydrate her as quick as possible."

"Look Sarge, I know I'm working but I'm really worried, can I drop in for a quick visit?"

"Yeah Ponch, I think that would be a good idea, Jon could use your support right now."

As Ponch was on his way to the hospital he was trying to imagine what the Sarge had described. She must have lost a lot of weight, but to the point of not being able to recognize her?

Ponch walked into the ER and spoke to a pretty nurse to get the curtained number (he didn't even try to flirt he was so focused) and when he moved the curtain to walk in he suddenly froze. If he hadn't seen Jon sitting there he would have thought he was in the wrong area. Who was this frail person asleep on the bed?

Jon looked surprised then relieved then like he was about to cry, Ponch walked up to him and did something they don't normally do, he gave his partner a hug. "I'm so sorry Jon, I had no idea."

"It's ok Ponch, how would you know? I honestly didn't see it myself until today."

Ponch looked shocked with that revelation, how could he not see? This was a drastic change. Ponch knew better than to say anything, Jon was fragile enough as it was.

Just then Nick walked in with another warm blanket for Cassie. Jon introduced the two "Ponch I want you to meet our friend Nick, Nick this is my partner and best friend Ponch."

They shook hands while eyeing each other up. Jon explained to Ponch what had happened and how Nick was there just in time. "I'm telling you Ponch if Nick hadn't shown up when he did, I don't know what I would have done."

They were finally able to get her out of emergency and into her own room and luck was on their side, she even got her own private room. Cassie was also down to one IV bag instead of two.

Ponch had to return to work so he bid them farewell with a promise to show up after work. In his mind, he was saying 'You're not going to keep me away anymore, you both need me'. Ponch couldn't have been more right.

Cassie hadn't had anything to eat or drink since she got there and she was glad. Of course, that changed at dinner time. They didn't bring her a tray of food but they brought her a protein shake. Cassie looked at this thing as if it were a poisonous snake. Jon didn't understand her fear. "Try it Cassie it might be as good as yours from home."

Shaking her head no, she was speechless and scared. Jon sat on the edge of the bed put both of his hands on her face and had her look directly at him. "Why are you so scared?"


	6. Chapter 6

Nick had just walked in to witness this.

Tears streaming down Cassie's face "If I eat, I throw up. I don't want to throw up, it hurts too much."

Jon wrapped his arms around her and held her in a tight embrace, he finally understood.

Nick came forward and put his hand on Jon's back just to let him know he was there. Jon straightened up and they both looked at Nick questioningly.

"Cassie, we can fix that." Nick said sorrowfully "We can give you an anti-nauseant before each meal." Nick wished Cassie hadn't kept this secret for so long, this could have been handled months ago.

She shook her head no "That has side effects as well. The hot flashes are more than I can handle."

"Hot flashes? Cassie if you're getting hot flashes then you're reacting to the medication, let's find you one that doesn't give you hot flashes." He left to put in the request and Cassie laid down to nap.

It took at least half an hour to contact the doctor and explain the situation and get approval for gravol for Cassie. A nurse came walking in with a syringe "Who ordered the appetizer?" the nurse said jokingly.

Jon smiled, "We sure did."

She was still groggy from sleeping but had no choice but to wake up as Jon adjusted her bed to a sitting position. If Cassie thought he had been pushy before she hasn't seen anything yet.

Jon encouraged Cassie with just one sip first. She waited stating the gravol needed to work into her system, she was actually stalling not believing this would work. Nick being the doctor knew she was just stalling and was siding with Jon and pushing her to have a sip.

Cassie hesitantly picked up the bottle and put the straw to her lips. She took a small sip and could feel the cool liquid slide down her throat. She waited for the inevitable feeling of nausea and was surprised it didn't come seconds later. She kept waiting and both Jon and Nick were watching her closely. Jon pushed for another sip "Wait." She said.

A full minute passed and still no nausea, Cassie took another sip then 30 seconds later a third and larger sip. Jon couldn't hide his smile, he had the hugest grin on his face. Never had he been so excited to watch someone eat. She also felt a huge sense of relief, no nausea, she couldn't remember the last time she didn't feel nauseated. With a lot of coaxing and pushing from both Jon and Nick, Cassie drank half of the bottle. "Please," Cassie pleaded "I can't fit in one more sip, I'm stuffed." She also couldn't remember the last time she ate until she was full. They finally gave in and let her sleep.

Ponch stopped by after work just like he promised. Jon was alone in the room watching Cassie sleep. "Hey partner, how are things?" Ponch was eyeing Cassie still having difficulty believe this was the same joyful bubbly lady he met years ago.

"Ponch you'll never believe it, we found out why Cassie wasn't eating." Jon explained what he had learned earlier that day and also what he had found out earlier in the week about her hiding half of her food in the garbage to make it look like she had eaten.

Ponch couldn't believe his ears, he knew Cassie well enough to know that she really appreciated the quality of food. She would go out of her way to make something and when she took that first bite she would close her eyes and savor the flavor.

Ponch had a plan, he said good night to Jon with a promise to return the next day. Jon started to say no that's ok but Ponch put up his hand and said "Sorry I'm not taking no for an answer."

Jon looked to the floor then looked up at Ponch and smiled "Thanks partner."

The next day began with blood tests, now that she was hydrated they were able to check out if she had done any damage to her organs. Between forced meals and an array of tests the doctor was able to verify they caught this in the nick of time. As long as Cassie continued her progress of fluids and food they might let her go home in a day or two.

A nurse came walking in when Jon and Nick had stepped away for dinner. She was wheeling in a metal contraption. "What's this?" Cassie looked at it with curiosity.

"It's a scale, we are going to weigh you. Let's play a game, before you get on how much do you think you weigh?"

Cassie sat on the edge of the bed, "Hmm probably about 150 pounds."

"How much do you normally weigh? Or how much did you weigh before all of this?"

"Usually about 175 or 180."

"So you think you lost about 25 to 30 pounds? Ok, let me make adjustments here and we'll set it to 150 pounds, now step on the scale and we'll see what it says."

Cassie carefully put her full weight on her legs then while holding onto the handrail she took one step then the other and stood in the center of the scale. The toggle didn't move.

"Hmm well 150 doesn't seem to be right, let's move it to 130, nope how about 110?"

Cassie couldn't believe her eyes, it still wasn't moving.

The nurse inched the metal piece a little further down and they saw the scale move at close to 108 pounds and it finally balanced perfectly at 107 pounds.

"No, this must be broken." Cassie was in denial. She stepped down and looked at the other side of the scale but couldn't see where it might be broken. "There's no way I weigh that little."

"I'm afraid so Cassie, you've lost almost half of your body weight." The nurse was glad this was starting to sink in.


	7. Chapter 7

Cassie sat on the edge of the bed in shock. Jon and Nick walked in at the perfect time. The nurse explained what they just learned then she made a discrete exit giving them alone time to talk about this.

Jon sat on the bed next to Cassie and put his arm around her shoulder. "It's just a number Cassie, we can fix it."

She was still looking at the floor, "How could I have let it get this bad?" She turned to look at Jon "I really thought I had only lost about 20 or 30 pounds."

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't see it until yesterday either."

Jon helped Cassie get back into bed just as another nurse walked in with another shake. "What's this? I already had dinner."

"I heard you're having meals between meals to help you get your weight back up, you can expect a bedtime snack as well." The nurse smiled before she left.

Cassie had spent so many months avoiding food and now she was being surrounded by it, she was having difficulty adjusting to this. She picked up the bottle and took a small sip, she wasn't sure if the gravol would still be effective or if she'd start feeling nauseous again. So far so good.

Nick decided to distract them by telling them stories and if 5 minutes passed with Cassie ignoring her drink Jon would pick it up and hand it to her. Cassie glared at him the first few times but always took it and took a sip, she would try to beat Jon to the punch by remembering herself to take a sip. The distraction worked, Cassie even laughed at some of the funny stories. She still couldn't finish an entire bottle though and being full made her even more tired.

She adjusted her head scarf then laid down for a nap and Nick left to check on some of his patients while he was there. Jon sat quietly pondering the last 48 hours and all the new things he has learned. His dinner with Nick went well he learned a lot about how to help someone with an eating disorder, of course a lot of things didn't pertain to Cassie's case as this wasn't really self-inflicted intentionally. Tonight, proved that point as Cassie was more than willing to drink that second drink.

Ponch peeked his head in the doorway. Jon saw the movement and looked over "Hey partner, come on in." Jon whispered to Ponch.

Ponch tiptoed in, did a quick stop at the bed to see Cassie sleeping peacefully, then thought to himself 'when did she start wearing headscarves?'

He brought over to Jon a paper bag "Hi Jon sorry I'm late, I stopped at Cassie's favourite bakery and picked up a banana pecan muffin."

Jon peeked in the bag and saw two "How did you know that's her favourite?" he was surprised.

"The Cassie I remember really liked food and really showed enjoyment for these muffins."

Two hours later when Cassie was being woken up to eat yet again. She was a little grumpy "I sure hope you don't plan to wake me up through the night like this." All she wanted to do was sleep and they kept interfering with her rem sleep, she adjusted her head scarf again then looked at what they brought her.

This time she had been given a cup with a spoon, she looked at the label, rice pudding. Jon had gotten permission from the nurses that Cassie could choose between what they gave her or the muffin Ponch brought her.

"Cassie, while you were sleeping Ponch stopped by and brought you this." Jon brought the bag out from behind his back and she peered inside, her eyes almost sparkled. "You can choose either the rice pudding or the muffin, which would you like?" She didn't hesitate for a second, she put the spoon down and dove her hand into the bag for the muffin. Jon watched as she carefully took off the paper wrapping and broke small pieces off and ate them.

When Cassie settled in for the night Nick talked Jon into going home to sleep while he takes the graveyard shift. She was going to need a change of clothes to go home in and at least one more head scarf anyway. Jon was exhausted so it didn't take much convincing.

The night was pretty quiet, the nurses occasionally came in to change IV's, check temperature and blood pressure. At 5am they woke Cassie with her first meal of the day. Another protein shake and another shot of gravol. "Seriously?" Cassie was exasperated "It's still the middle of the night." With Nick encouraging then eventually pushing, Cassie finished the entire bottle. "I think I've earned this nap." She said grouchily then turned onto her side and fell asleep.

Jon came in a few hours later with a bag full of belongings. He placed his stuff down and walked over to Cassie, brushing her hair from her face gently so as not to wake her he quietly asked Nick how the night went.

Nick shared the good news that she finished an entire bottle this morning. Jon was equally surprised with 1. They started so early and 2. That she actually finished an entire bottle. Nick explained it took some pretty aggressive pushing. "She certainly wasn't too happy with me." he chuckled.

Nick left to take a nap and Jon sat quietly watching Cassie sleep. At 9am a nurse walked in with a tray of food. Uh oh, Jon thought, now the real challenge begins. She woke Cassie up and told her to eat up before it gets cold. "I just ate!" Cassie said exasperated.

Jon came over to give her a good morning kiss and to peek under the lid to see what was for breakfast. Scrambled eggs, toast and bacon. "Look honey, your favourites."

Cassie picked up a piece of bacon and took the tiniest nibble off of the end. "Well I guess there's no point in fighting it." She took a bigger bite and with her other hand picked up the toast for a bite. This pleased Jon to no end, had they both known gravol was an option they would have done this a lot sooner. Cassie was ready to give up way too soon and Jon started to push to get her to keep eating. He kept in the back of his mind how Nick had said he had to get a little aggressive. He didn't like it but he was prepared to piss Cassie off if that kept her eating. She kept readjusting her headscarf and Jon thought this would be a good time to switch to a newer cleaner one. He helped her take that one off and Cassie pushed him to be quick and get the next one settled in place before anyone came walking in.

Not an hour later who would come walking in but Ponch, in full uniform carrying another paper bag. Cassie was happy to see Ponch and opened her arms for a hug. "I understand I have you to thank for that wonderful muffin last night."

This was the first time Cassie was awake since Ponch started visiting and he could have used one arm around her entire body she was so thin. "Cassie, it's good to see you awake, you've lost a few pounds I see."

"Haw haw, I thought Grossie was the comedian. What's in the bag? More muffins?"

"Well actually, donuts." Ponch chuckled to himself.

Cassie peered inside and saw a honey dip, honey crueler and a boston cream. "How did you know these were my favourites?"

Ponch was proud of himself for guessing right. "I wasn't sure which was your favourite so I brought the three I saw you eat most often."

She picked out a honey dipped and took a small bite. "Thanks Ponch, this is perfect."

That morning they found out that since she couldn't be released before her next chemo treatment they would be delaying the treatment by one day. Cassie also pleaded with the doctor that so many full meals were just too much for her. She begged that the in-between meals please be smaller. He made no promises but said he'd think about it.

It suddenly dawned on Cassie that if she lost half of her body weight her clothes weren't going to fit, she mentioned this to her husband "I might have to go home in a hospital gown." Jon said not to worry he had already thought of that and when she went home she would be in clothes that fit.

As requested the doctor had made the in-between meals smaller and Cassie proved she was improving by not only eating everything she was given but also drinking a sufficient amount of water. She was released to go home before dinner the next day.

When Jon brought out the clothes for her to wear home Cassie looked at the clothes skeptically "I think these are too small."

"Try it on honey, you might be surprised."

"Why do these look so familiar? Where have I seen this before?"

Jon didn't want to say exactly who, so he was a little vague instead, "I borrowed them from one of our neighbours."

Cassie put on the pants and was surprised at how easily she slipped into them, not only did they fit but they were just a tiny bit big. She pulled the t-shirt over her head then the memory came crashing down in her head. "Oh my God! These are Penny's aren't they?"


	8. Chapter 8

Jon didn't say anything, he just smiled. He knew Cassie had always thought Penny was too skinny and had gone out of her way to fatten her up just a little bit. Gifts of cookies, muffins and even meals occasionally.

"I can't believe I'm as thin as Penny." Cassie said a little stunned as Jon helped her put on a sweater. Even though it was fairly warm out Cassie was still always cold.

"Come on honey, let's go get some groceries and we can make one of your favourite meals for dinner." Nick had bid them farewell earlier in the day on the promise he would join them for dinner at home.

They were walking down the grocery store aisles with Cassie next to the shopping cart Jon was pushing and she kept adding things to the cart, her favourite cookies, pancake mix and even oatmeal. Cassie didn't normally eat such processed foods but knew she wouldn't have the energy to make from scratch and eat all day if she wanted to gain some weight back.

When they got home they found a stack of clothes on the counter with a note: I found these in the back of my closet, I know I'll never wear them maybe you can use them. The note was from Penny. "Well that was nice of her." Jon said.

Cassie looked at some of the items, these were expensive clothes, some designer and some still with tags on. "Yes, incredibly nice of her." She held up a dress and held it against herself, Jon liked the way it looked and told Cassie so.

Jon insisted Cassie take a nap and he chopped vegetables for the stir fry they were having for dinner.

When she woke up Nick was already there and Ponch had also just arrived. Ponch came over to Cassie and gave her a kiss on the cheek "So good to see you up and about Cassie." He handed her some multi colour carnations.

"Oh Ponch that's so sweet, thank you so much." Cassie went to put the flowers in a vase and Ponch helped Nick set the table. Jon then sat Cassie down at the table and gave her a large glass of water. His look said it all, _drink all of this._

Cassie's appetizer was another shot of Gravol with the assistance of Nick. He showed Jon and herself how to give injections with minimal pain.

Dinner was fabulous, all four of us sharing stories and having a good laugh. Cassie was glad Nick and Ponch could finally meet, she wanted all of her friends to meet. The gravol and a full belly was making Cassie very tired and she wanted to go back to bed but Jon wouldn't let her until she finished all of the water he had given her. It took some effort but she did it.

Jon tucked her in, "Do you know how proud I am of you? You've come a long way from when we admitted you into the hospital."

Cassie pulled him closer for a kiss, "I love you too." He smiled and kissed her again.

The next day was chemo day, she usually dreaded this day but this time she was feeling hopeful. Nick had joined Jon in dropping her off and had a little talk with the nurses. Probably letting them know she was switching to gravol. Cassie had insisted they not stick around for the chemo treatment, "Seriously." She said "I'll just be sitting there for the next few hours and mostly sleeping." Jon finally caved with Nick's encouragement.

After the guys left before the nurses started the IV Cassie had a secret request. Could they please shave her head? She was ready now to let go of the falling strands. This was something they did often in oncology so they had all of the supplies. They carefully shaved it with an electric shaver then even more carefully with a razor to give her a smooth as a baby's bottom head. Cassie felt her head sans hair for the first time and didn't regret it for a second. It was quite a neat feeling. Without the hair though her head felt cold so they gave her a new headscarf to wear.

They then moved her back to the recliner and started to prepare her arm for the IV and the nurse almost whooped with joy in finding Cassie had good plump veins. This made Cassie laugh and she told them what her last few days had been like. The nurse decided to celebrate by giving Cassie some Peek Freens digestive cookies, normally Cassie would never eat them but this time she just laughed and ate both of them.

Two and a half hours later, Jon walked in with Nick and saw Cassie sleeping as per usual. He noticed right away something looked different, it took a few minutes to figure out what it was and was pleased with what he saw. He whispered to Nick "Notice anything different?"


	9. Chapter 9

Nick looked at Cassie and looked again closer, he couldn't see what Jon saw, he stared at her hands, no IV in the hand it was in her arm as it should be. He looked at her head "New headscarf?"

Jon grinned "Yup, and what's underneath?"

That's when Nick saw it, he had been leaning forward looking at Cassie closely, and he suddenly jolted upright and looked at Jon and whispered "She shaved her head!"

Jon just nodded his head, smiling. He took the empty recliner next to Cassie and Nick took the other one, they quietly chatted while waiting for her treatment to be done and they could take her home.

Nick had already told Jon that he was staying at their place overnight to oversee her side effects. He wanted to know what else he could teach them to make this time easier.

They had to wake her when her treatment was done and Jon continued with the routine of helping her into her wheelchair then again when she got out of the truck. She was very tired and had great difficulty staying awake for even a moment. They got back to their apartment and he tucked her directly into bed. She wasn't even awake enough to tell him about her new hairdo.

The dosages were higher as the sessions drew to an end so the side effects came on quicker and harder. It was barely five hours since they got back and Cassie was back to hugging the porcelain throne. Cassie usually waited 30 minutes before allowing the anti nauseant shot but Nick was there and as soon as he heard Cassie in the bathroom he was in there behind Jon getting the syringe ready. Jon saw what he was doing and said "We usually wait to see if it passes on its own."

"It won't, trust me."

He jabbed Cassie in the backside who then swore up one side and down the other, she was not expecting that. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Sorry honey, your nausea isn't going to go away on its own."

Cassie sat there waiting for the hot flash to come on and when it didn't she looked at Jon stunned. "No hot flash!"

Jon and Nick had quite the chuckle about her trucker's mouth. She knew she wouldn't live that down for a while.

Jon learned from Nick now that the nausea was under control she needed to keep something in her stomach for the next round of vomiting or she would do more damage to her insides so before he would let her go back to bed he insisted she drink a glass of water.

Cassie went to lay down but Jon stopped her and made her sit on the edge of the bed, he then handed her a glass of water.

Cassie sighed then took 2 sips and went to put it down but Jon grabbed it before it reached the bedside table and handed it back to her. "All."

"That's too much!"

"You can do it."

"No, it's way too much."

"You need something in your stomach for the next round."

Nick was watching this from the doorway

Cassie took 3 more sips "It's too much."

Jon hesitated then said "Please Cassie, do it for me."

She gave him a withered look then brought the cup to her lips and started drinking.

Nick was surprised "What just happened here?"

Cassie was half way thru and needed to stop and catch her breath

Jon was caressing her forehead with his thumb "I played the 'do it for me' card."

"What's that?" Nick had never heard of this before

"Basically, Cassie will do anything for me, if I ask. Isn't that right Cassie?"

Cassie nodded then went back to trying to finish what seemed like a bottomless glass of water before handing it to Jon. He helped her back into bed then kissed her forehead "I love you."

"I love you too."

Jon followed Nick out to the living room. "So, all you have to say is 'do it for me' and she'll do it?"

Jon nodded, "It's a powerful phrase and if the roles were reversed I would do the same."

Nick sat heavily on the couch that he had been sleeping on and Jon sat in the armchair next to the couch. "Wow that's deep."

"We don't take the phrase lightly and only use it when we need to."

"Has she ever used it on you?"

Jon nodded "Once, I was too stubborn to call in sick. I'm glad she did it, I ended up staying home sick for 3 days"

Nick and Jon went back to sleep knowing it would be just a short nap before they got woken again.

This became the routine for the next 6 hours. Every time Cassie was hit with another wave of nausea Nick was there right away administering the gravol. Jon now understood Cassie had been suffering needlessly, he felt terrible about that.

Nick agreed Jon had this under control now and went home to sleep. Jon made a cup of tea and had it waiting on the kitchen table before he rejoined Cassie in bed.

When Cassie woke the next morning, she wasn't feeling as weak as she had in the past but she could still feel a little weakness in her legs as she walked to the kitchen table and when she took that first sip of tea her stomach wasn't nearly as turmoiled as usual. About half way through the cup she did feel a little nauseated and she couldn't remember when she received her last dose of gravol. Cassie pondered for about half an hour of what to do and finally decided it probably has been long enough and she wanted some breakfast anyway. So, she popped a slice of bread in the toaster and went to the bathroom to measure out a dose. This was the first time she was injecting herself without any supervision, it made her a little nervous. Cassie got it done quick trying not to overthink it.

Jon came sauntering out of the bedroom yawning and looked towards the kitchen and he smiled the biggest smile. He came over and kissed Cassie on the lips getting some of the crumbs on his lips from her toast "You're eating, I can't believe it."

Cassie laughed, "It feels good to be able to satisfy the hunger."

Cassie hadn't put her headscarf back on after it had fallen off during the night and Jon couldn't resist touching her head then kissing it. "You look beautiful without hair." He kissed her head again.

She felt how smooth her head was and frowned missing her hair already but then put on a small smile as she knew this was better than watching it fall out in chunks and was hopeful that it would grow back. "I hope it grows back." Cassie couldn't resist saying.

"You'll see, once we're done with the chemo, your hair is going to come back beautiful and healthy."

As the next 2 weeks progressed, Cassie was able to gain back 10 pounds and with the new knowledge the last 2 chemo treatments went better than ever. Jon wanted to celebrate the end of Cassie's chemo treatments with a BBQ but Cassie wasn't ready for their friends to see her like this. She was very self-conscious of her weight loss and hair loss. Jon understood but made her promise they could celebrate when the doctor announced she was cancer free. Cassie couldn't argue that and she really hoped that was something she could celebrate one day.

Two months of waiting and nothing else to do, Cassie was able to gain back another 30 pounds (she had to go out and buy new clothes as hers were still too big and Penny's were too small) and she was able to get some of her energy back as well. Cassie started cooking and cleaning again. At first Jon wasn't too happy as he was worried she was over doing it but when he was home one weekend he saw that she did everything in short jaunts. Cassie never over exerted herself and took many breaks.

The big day was coming. Cassie had done all of the tests and they were going to see the doctor about the results.

The day before, Cassie was very edgy and nervous. Luckily Jon was there to keep her calm or she would have been doing her usual roller coaster of emotions. Jon invited Ponch over because he knew that Ponch could make Cassie laugh and keep her mind off of the next day.

When Ponch came over he brought his favourite comfort food, Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos, Cassie looked inside the open bag and wrinkled her nose then looked up at Ponch. "Trust me Cassie you'll love these, they're my favourite." She pulled a chip out of the bag and took a nibble on the edge of the chip but it broke off and she ended up taking a bigger bite than she wanted to, she chewed liking the flavor of the spices then all of a sudden her mouth was hanging open and she was fanning the heat with her hand. This made both Jon and Ponch double over laughing. She decided to play it up a bit and started dancing around as if the heat was too much, until she too couldn't stop laughing. Ponch grabbed a big chip and stuffed the whole thing into his mouth enjoying the taste and the heat. Jon ate them as well and Cassie had to admit that once her mouth got used to the heat it wasn't so bad. Ponch pulled through again and was able to keep Cassie's mind entertained until well past her bedtime. She was good and tired and fell asleep easily. Ponch stayed a while longer and talked shop with Jon who had been feeling like he was missing out of the day to day happenings at Central.

As they were leaving their apartment and walking to the truck every neighbor they ran into wished them luck. Everyone knew what today was.


	10. Conclusion

They got to the doctor's office and Cassie could have sworn they were waiting for hours. Time just seemed to slow down.

Finally, they were escorted into the doctor's private office. Cassie remembered the one and only other time they had been in this office, it was when he told her she had cancer. Cassie was really hoping the news would be better this time.

The doctor walked in and sat down, said hello to both of them then looked at Cassie's chart, was it her or was he taking a crazy long time looking at the chart? She was about to say something when he looked up and looked at Cassie "So, how are you feeling?"

Ugh, Cassie wasn't sure if she had the patience for pleasantries, she tried just this once "I feel good doctor."

Jon could feel her anxiety and held her hand.

The doctor went back to looking at his notes "So your test results are all back." He hesitated another moment.

Cassie was about to stand up and scream at him if he didn't tell her the results now.

"Congratulations Cassie, you are cancer free." The doctor was smiling.

Cassie was stunned at first, this was what she was waiting to hear but still didn't expect to hear it. "It's gone?" She brought her hand to her throat in surprise.

"Yes, all gone. The chemo worked." The doctor loved sharing this kind of news, it brought back all of the reasons why he became a doctor.

Jon was the first to stand, he extended his hand to the doctor "Thank you so much doctor, we really appreciate everything you've done for us."

Cassie finally stood up, she knew a handshake wasn't enough, she walked around the desk and the doctor stood up so that he could accept the hug Cassie wanted to give him. "You did it Cassie."

"Thank you, doctor, you have no idea how much I appreciate everything you have done."

When they walked out of there Cassie felt like she was floating on a cloud. As Jon was helping her into the truck he asked "So who do you want to tell first?"

"Oh god, there are so many people to tell! Can we go to Central? I'd like to tell Joe Getraer and everyone else that donated some of their vacation days."

Jon parked his truck at Central and they walked thru a back door and were walking down the hallway holding hands. They waved and said hi to people along the way but didn't say anything until they got to the Sarges office. Joe was sitting alone in his office doing paperwork when he looked up and saw Jon first then Cassie. Joe knew where they just came from and couldn't tell from their expression if they had good news or bad news. "Hi you two, have a seat, tell me how did it go?"

Cassie couldn't hold back anymore and put on the biggest grin "The cancer is gone."

Joe cheered loudly and all 3 stood up for a big group hug. "That's the greatest news ever Cassie. So how many people have you told so far?"

"You're the first Joe."

"What? Me? Really?"

"I couldn't have done this without Jon at my side and Jon couldn't have been there without your full support."

"Well gosh, I'm happy to help. Say I have an idea, there are a lot of people out on the road working right now that are waiting to hear this news. How would you like to tell them all right now?"

Cassie was confused "How can I do that? They're all over the city."

"Well it goes against all rules and I've never allowed something like this before but I happen to have a radio here that will be heard in every patrol car and motorcycle."

Cassie loved the idea and laughed, she knew this was a big deal.

Joe got on first to clear the airwaves for a special announcement then Cassie spoke "This is Cassie Baker, I want to thank everyone for their support, I am now cancer free." There were speakers throughout the building and they all could hear cheers and hollering coming down the hallway. Cassie laughed with tears in her eyes.

Jon had been looking at his cell phone reading a text message when Sarge piped up "Ok, tell Ponch 30-minute break and no more."

Jon looked up from his phone "How did you know? Oh wait, that's why you're the Sarge" Jon chuckled. He looked back down at his phone and texted Ponch where they should meet.

They got to the fast food Mexican stand that Ponch loved so much, Ponch was already there when they arrived. Cassie jumped out of the truck and ran to Ponch for a hug, Ponch was so thrilled for her he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up and swung her around, this made Cassie shriek. Ponch put her down laughing and put his hands on her shoulders "Congratulations Cassie, I knew you could do it."

They enjoyed a celebratory soda and burrito before Ponch had to 'hit the bricks' yet again.

The next day started the plans of the great big BBQ celebration. Everyone was invited and they had no idea how they would fit everyone in but they didn't care.

Jon woke one morning and saw Cassie at the kitchen table with a bunch of recipe cards and envelopes. Jon read the envelope "Top Secret" in big red lettering, then he noticed what was on the recipe card. Cassie's secret hamburger patty recipe. "What's this?" Jon had a feeling he knew as Cassie had requested a list of names of the people that had donated vacation days to him.

"I want to thank some people for going above and beyond when we needed it most."

Jon knew how closely she held this recipe to her heart, "Are you sure? You've never shared this recipe with anyone before."

Cassie looked at her husband with a big grin "I'm positive. I didn't create this recipe, it was shared with me as well."

On the day of the BBQ Cassie was in the kitchen making these famous burgers and felt a thrill that before the day was over there would be a few more people who would know what is the secret ingredient that makes these burgers taste so darn good. She put the secret ingredient back in the cupboard, she never left it out while making these in case someone came walking in unexpected. Not 2 seconds later Penny came walking through the door with a tray of vegetables and dip. They shared a hug, Cassie had a new understanding of Penny's weight and no longer judged her on being so thin. Penny looked over Cassie's shoulder and saw the ground beef "Oh, hey are those the famous burgers? Can I watch you put it together?"

"Sorry Penny, I've already put the secret ingredient in there." Penny stood on her tiptoes to see if she could tell what it was which made Cassie laugh. "Here, I'll do one better." Cassie retrieved one of her special thank you cards and handed it to Penny.

Penny was a little confused but opened the envelope and read the thank you card and gave Cassie a hug saying she was happy to help. Penny then opened the top-secret envelope and pulled out the recipe card and her eyes popped out of her head when she saw what it was. She even screamed which had Jon running from the bathroom where he had been shaving. Penny started jumping up and down then grabbed Cassie in a tight embrace and made her start jumping up as well. Jon saw what was in Penny's hand and grinned and went back to shaving. Penny stopped and looked closely at the recipe card, searching the ingredients to see which was the secret ingredient. When she saw it her jaw dropped and she looked at Cassie "Really?"

Cassie nodded "Yup, that's it." Cassie brought her over to the bowl of ground beef where she had been adding the extra ingredients and showed her.

"Wow that's so cool."

Cassie pointed her finger at Penny "Now I'm swearing you to secrecy here. You must never share this with anyone."

Penny crossed her heart promising never to share. She went home right away to put this away so she would never lose it.

As the day progressed more people arrived. It was about half an hour before burgers would be ready and people would start eating that Cassie started gathering the list of people from Central. Bonnie, Grossie, Bear, Jeb, Ponch, Cindy, Turner, Sarge (which surprised Cassie) and even Harlan donated some of his vacation days. Cassie brought all of them to the bedroom and handed out the thank you cards she had prepared for each of them. They all read the thank you cards first and expressed thanks in return then they slowly one by one started opening the secret envelope, Jon had just arrived in the doorway, he didn't want to miss this. Cassie backed up into Jon and he put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head enjoying her newly grown in healthy hair. They started hearing the responses

Bonnie "Is this really?"

Grossie "No Way!"

Sarge, chuckled.

Harlan "Oh my God!"

Cassie didn't catch what the others said but as they started looking at the list of ingredients and started catching on to what it was they knew not to say it out loud. Cassie saw Bonnie and Grossie mouthing the words to each other "corn meal"

Cindy was the first to quietly scream and ran to Cassie to hug her. Cassie couldn't stop laughing, every one of them hugged her in thanks and she swore them all to secrecy. They all promised never to share.

The end

A great big thanks to Ponchygirl and AlltrekkedUp for your support as I posted each chapter. You have made my transition into sharing with the outside world much easier.


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